The Medic Dad Chronicles

 This next one is something that I have failed at throughout my marriage and continue to fail at, but I am going to try to get better at it. Do the things that your wife would like to do, I mean going to the movies, plays, shopping, and concerts. Over the years I have always had an out, I worked 2 full-time jobs with plenty of overtime which made me tired all the time. So when Angie asked me to go here or there I almost always said no because I was tired. Now That I am down to one job and I am not working as much as then, I am out of excuses. I will say that the one thing that she asked me to do last month was the Candlelight Concert at the DeSoto Hilton in Savannah. It was a very nice 4 string quartet that played mostly Christmas music(my favorite said while rolling my eyes)and it was a delightful evening. I know Angie was very happy going there and I actually enjoyed the music as well.  I never thought that I would ever get tired of being in the EMS field, I guess I am more ...

 My first marriage ended after 9 years, I will be the first to say that I got married too young and for the wrong reasons. I have told countless young people not to make any life-changing decisions such as getting married, having kids, buying a house with someone, etc. until you're at least 25. I would go on to explain that by that time you have your career plans set(usually), you're mature enough to know the type of person you would like to spend your life with and you've gotten all your young, and dumb tendencies out of the way. On many occasions, people would ask me when I got married and I told them when I was 19 they would throw that in my face. They would say "You did it", why can't I. To which I would always say, "Yeah look at me, I am the divorced dad of three kids that I barely get to see and in a financial hole that I will probably never get out of. "I did it alright." I would like to go through some of the mistakes that I learned from...

  After losing 2 father figures within 4 months or so I have taken some time to think about grief. As I have said before, being a medic changes how you look at things and feel about things. We see so many people that have died and almost every reaction to death that there is. Most of us are taught in EMT or Paramedic school that there are 5 stages of grief, these were first introduced by Elisabeth Kubler Ross in her book in 1969. These 5 stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.   In the field we saw anger the most, we've had family and friends screaming and yelling. You feel so bad that there is nothing that you can do to ease that pain and we try to be as empathetic as possible. The next would be denial, people are just in disbelief saying that it is not possible. On occasions, there have been people that are bargaining to have their loved ones back. To be the one to give the news of the death of someone is never easy and we do the best that we c...

 Dad was stable on the ventilator, he was on a setting that allowed him to initiate a breath and then the ventilator would supply him with a set amount of air. You could still see that his effort although ever so slight was weak. Dad had 3 medications for keeping his blood pressure up, when I say up I mean above 80's/50's(a "normal" B/P is 120/80). Dad also had a med for sedation so he would be calm with the breathing tube and he had another for pain associated with the tube. Now the waiting game began, would he get better being on the ventilator or slowly deteriorate. Once Dad was on the ventilator he was no longer able to make any decisions and that left it up to Mom and us kids. The doctor came in to talk to us all, she told my Mom about the decision-making and asked what she would like them to do. The doctor explained everything in a very simple yet straightforward way so that Mom understood, I really appreciated that. Mom told the doctor that she wanted to wait u...

 After working in EMS there have been many times where people(usually family members) have changed their minds about the wishes of the patient and requested that we "do everything". I am sure they and many people reading this don't know what that entails/means. If the patient stops breathing then normally we have to put in a tube down the trachea to breathe for them. This procedure is painful even though we sedate the patient or even if they are unconscious. Next, if the patient's heart starts to quiver uncontrollably(ventricular fibrillation) then we have to provide an electric shock(defibrillate) with our cardiac monitor. This too hurts even if the patient is unconscious. Lastly is Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation)which is also known as CPR. This is where we push on the patient's chest to about 2 inches in depth, this normally cracks/snaps ribs. The patient at this point doesn't feel that but in the event that they do make it through all that and regain consci...

 As I told my Dad that there was really nothing else that could be done I was thinking "I am telling my Dad that he is going to die" except I wasn't exactly using those words. During this time it was all I could do to keep it together, there were times when I had to stop and take a couple deep breaths. I have told people that their situation was grim and that I was going to do everything I could for them but they weren't my Dad and that was not what I was telling him. I explained to Dad that they(the doctors)could put a tube down his airway and put him on a ventilator and what the issues with that were. I explained to him that if that were to happen he probably would not come off the vent. What I had to do next was something I dreaded and wanted to avoid but I knew it had to be done. I asked my dad if he stopped breathing did he want a tube placed to breathe for him? I asked him if his heart stopped did he want CPR? The nurse asked him if his heart needed defibrillati...

In the past several months I watched 2 very amazing men take their last breaths. I have been in EMS for over 20 years and have seen countless people take their last breaths but when it is family it hits differently.  On the first of January, my brother told me that my dad was "not doing very well" and that he was possibly going to be going to the ER after he went to dialysis. When I was at my son and daughter-in-law's house celebrating a late Christmas, new years and my wife's birthday. The severity changed while we were there and he said that dad asked 911 to be called and he was being transported to the hospital having shortness of breath. I asked if I needed to come to NC where they lived and my mom said yes.  I left Joey's, ran to the house, packed a bag, and hit the road. I got to NC around 8, ran by mom's house then went to the hotel for some much-needed rest.  The next morning I went straight to the hospital and went to my dad who was still in the ER. D...