Being a husband, take 2(part 2)


 This next one is something that I have failed at throughout my marriage and continue to fail at, but I am going to try to get better at it. Do the things that your wife would like to do, I mean going to the movies, plays, shopping, and concerts. Over the years I have always had an out, I worked 2 full-time jobs with plenty of overtime which made me tired all the time. So when Angie asked me to go here or there I almost always said no because I was tired. Now That I am down to one job and I am not working as much as then, I am out of excuses. I will say that the one thing that she asked me to do last month was the Candlelight Concert at the DeSoto Hilton in Savannah. It was a very nice 4 string quartet that played mostly Christmas music(my favorite said while rolling my eyes)and it was a delightful evening. I know Angie was very happy going there and I actually enjoyed the music as well. 


I never thought that I would ever get tired of being in the EMS field, I guess I am more tired of being tired. I say that to say this, don't work so much. Live within your means, life isn't all about the money. We have struggled financially ever since we got married, we have virtually lived paycheck to paycheck and that took its toll on me, Angie, and the kids. I can't tell you how many family functions I have missed, or how much time I have spent away from home just to keep the bills paid. We really didn't think we would ever get out of debt, finally in the last few years we consolidated everything, and now we are in decent shape. This is how I was able to work just one job, and I can be pretty selective on the extra time I pick up. You need to look at what you spend your money on and see if what you're spending money on is a want or a need. Be good stewards of your money. 


My next recommendation would be, to be honest with each other. There is no secret that you can keep from your wife, it all comes out sooner or later. This is a very painful lesson that I learned many years ago and I learned from it and have kept to it. No matter how secretive you think you are, no matter how deep you think you've hidden things, they will come out. Also, we need to be involved in each other's lives. Each of you should know who the other's friends are, who they are hanging out with, and who they are talking to. We are a team and we need to be honest in what we are doing and with whom. 


This next lesson is something that I fail at day after day. We need to be more emotionally in touch with our loved ones. I know that I do not hug Angie as much as I should and I don't give her wet sloppy kisses like I should. This really hasn't changed over the years, it has been my weakness throughout my life actually and I can't really say why. I know that I have lost more than one relationship because I was more into joking around and having fun(not the kind you might be thinking of) rather than holding, cuddling, and the like. Also along these lines, I fail to provide the niceties that I know Angie likes. She likes flowers from time to time and loves cards occasionally. I'm not a complete loser, I have bought her cards and flowers a couple times in the past 21 years. I just need to step up my game!


Like I have said before, I am not perfect, I am a mediocre husband at best in my eyes but I am trying. In my mind, my job as a husband was to provide, fix things, and discipline when needed. There is so much more to it, I have so much more to learn and do, I actually feel good as I am doing more at home, being at home more, and spending time with Angie. Now if I could only go back in time and figure these(and many other things) lessons out sooner. But all I can do is keep moving forward, keep trying harder, and keep making Angie smile!


"The chaos persists, but so do I"

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