It takes all types (Yes men, part 1)

 The Yes Man

Every organization has them. The person who has a hard time saying no to the people above them.

"Can we get this done?" "Absolutely." "Can your people handle this too?" "No problem." "Can you have it ready by tomorrow?" "We'll make it happen."

It sounds great to the person asking.

The problem is, the person saying yes isn't always the person who has to figure out how to make it happen.

Years ago, when I was working as a military contractor, we worked alongside a senior enlisted person who had been sent to school after school throughout their career.

The military sometimes has an interesting way of dealing with people who aren't particularly good at their jobs. Instead of leaving them somewhere they can cause problems, they'll send them to another school. Then another. And another.

Do that long enough, and occasionally you end up with a senior enlisted member who has an impressive list of schools behind their name but still doesn't really understand how to get the job done.

We had one of those.

They had the schooling. What they didn't have was much common sense or a realistic understanding of what it actually took for the people under them to accomplish what they were promising.

Eventually, we were sent on a pretty important trip. It was the first mission of its kind for us, and it needed strong leadership.

Unfortunately, that wasn't what we had.

The contractors were working like dogs. Every time something else was asked of us, the answer from above seemed to be yes. Another promise. Another commitment. Another thing we were somehow supposed to make happen.

The person making those promises wasn't necessarily stopping to ask whether we had the time, manpower, or resources to accomplish them.

They just kept saying yes.

And every time a leader says yes to something, somebody has to do the work required to keep that promise. That somebody was us. As the trip went on, everyone became increasingly miserable.

Eventually, I reached my limit.

Now, here's where I need to be fair. Having a legitimate complaint doesn't mean you can handle it any way you want. And I didn't handle this one particularly well.

I let loose.

I basically called this senior enlisted person an idiot. I didn't use soft church words either. 

That wasn't my finest moment.

The bigger problem wasn't even necessarily what I said. It was where I said it and who heard me.

A senior officer from the unit we were supporting was standing within earshot when I decided to share my assessment of their leadership abilities.

For those unfamiliar with the military, publicly calling a senior enlisted person an idiot in front of a senior officer isn't generally considered an effective career-development strategy.

Not long afterward, I found myself headed to the airport. I was being sent home. In business class to boot!

The funniest part was the reaction from the other contractors.

They were jealous. They wanted to know exactly what I had said. Apparently, the trip had gotten bad enough that everybody wanted the recipe. "What did you say?" "Tell me exactly what you said."

They wanted to try it themselves so they could get sent home too.

I don't think that was quite the message leadership intended to send. When I got back to the rear, I didn't really get into any trouble over it.

But that senior enlisted person and I were never sent on another trip together.

Probably a wise decision. Looking back, I laugh about it. I still remember the way the person said, "bulb, bub." 

I can also admit I was wrong in how I handled my frustration. There was nothing wrong with challenging what was happening. There was nothing wrong with saying, "We can't keep doing this."

There was nothing wrong with pointing out that promises were being made that the people actually doing the work couldn't realistically keep up with.

But there was a professional way to do that.

Calling someone an idiot in front of a senior officer wasn't it. Still, the experience taught me something about leadership that has stuck with me. A leader's job isn't to make the people above them happy at the expense of the people below them.

Sometimes the answer really is no.

Sometimes it's, "We can do that, but not by tomorrow." Sometimes it's, "We don't have the manpower." Sometimes it's, "If this becomes the priority, something else is going to have to wait." And sometimes it's simply, "That's not realistic."

A good leader needs to be willing to say those things.

Because every time you make a promise upward, you're making a commitment for the people underneath you. If you're constantly saying yes because you want to look good to the boss, eventually your people are the ones paying for it. That doesn't mean you should fight leadership over everything.

I've worked with those people too.

They're exhausting. There is a difference between being willing to respectfully disagree and being difficult simply for the sake of being difficult.

Good leadership lives somewhere between the two.

Don't automatically say no because you don't like being told what to do. But don't automatically say yes because you're afraid of disappointing the person above you either.

Know your people. Know their capabilities. Know your resources. And when something isn't realistic, have enough backbone to say so.

The people above you may not always like hearing it.

But the people working for you will know that you're looking out for them.

A Yes Man tells the boss what they want to hear. A leader tells them what they need to hear.