The weight of it all(part 2)

 The Weight of It All — Part 2

One of the hardest things for a lot of men is carrying stress while feeling like they have nobody they can actually talk to about it. Sure, most men have friends. People they joke with, work with, watch football with, or send memes back and forth to. But having people around and actually having someone you can be honest with are two completely different things. The truth is, we are more disconnected now than we have ever been. Years ago, if you wanted to talk to somebody, you picked up the phone. You heard their voice. You sat on a porch, at a kitchen table, or in a garage somewhere and actually talked. There was a connection in it. Now, most conversations happen through texts, emails, comments, memes, or quick messages while everybody is distracted by ten other things. We scroll through people’s lives all day long, yet many of us barely know how the people closest to us are actually doing.

We are constantly connected to technology, but deeply disconnected from each other. And I think a lot of men feel that. A lot of men feel like they have to keep everything bottled up. You do not want to sound weak. You do not want to complain. You do not want to dump your problems on other people because everybody else is struggling too.

So instead, you say you are fine.

Even when work is stressing you out. Even when money is tight. Even when your marriage is struggling. Even when you are lying awake at night, trying to figure out how everything is going to work out. A lot of men carry all of that silently because they feel like that is what they are supposed to do.

At the same time, many men walk around feeling like they are somehow behind in life, even when they are doing everything they can. You work hard. You pay your bills. You try to be a good husband, a good father, a dependable person. But then you look around, and it feels like everybody else is doing better. Somebody has a nicer house. Somebody is making more money. Somebody is taking better vacations. Somebody seems happier. Somebody’s kids seem more successful. And without even realizing it, you start measuring your life against everybody else’s highlight reel.

Social media has made that even worse. You can sit there, exhausted after working all day, and scroll through a hundred people who look like they have their lives completely figured out. Meanwhile, you are just trying to keep your head above water. What most people do not see is that many of those people are struggling too. They are stressed too. They are worried too. They are just better at hiding it.

Life is not a race, even though it sometimes feels like one. Most men are simply trying to do the best they can with the pressure they carry every day. And sometimes it would just be nice to say out loud that you are tired without feeling like you are failing.

Just because you carry it well doesn’t mean it’s not heavy… and you don’t have to carry it alone. 

If this sounds like you, talk to somebody. It does not have to be me, but do not keep carrying everything by yourself. Reach out to a friend, family member, pastor, counselor, or somebody you trust. If you're unsure where to start, I'll help point you in the right direction.

I have been there. In some ways, I am still there. I am a work in progress, too.

Asking for help is not a weakness. Sometimes it takes more strength to speak up than it does to stay silent.