Things to ask your dad...Amanda

  I came across a guy on Instagram who posted a series of questions, It was things to ask your dad before it's too late. This struck a chord with me, as I have recently lost my dad some questions pop into my head all the time that I want to ask my dad about. These questions are asked as if I were the son asking my dad, however, I am changing it around and making it as if my kids are asking me these questions. I will make each post the answers for each of my kids. I hope this works out the way it does in my head. 

I am going to be honest, this one was not as easy as the others. Unfortunately, Amanda and I do not see eye to eye on a lot of things. I do love Amanda and I truly wish that we had a better relationship. Also, all the other kids have their pictures with them, but I don't have any pics of her. I know that she is very particular about pictures of her so that is why I don't have one up. 


1. What is your favorite memory of us?

I will say that this is not my favorite memory, but it is a memory that will bring me to tears each time I think/talk about it. You were involved in the car wreck that took the lives of 2 of your friends. I picked you up in Garden City in my ambulance and transported you to Memorial Hospital. You had been thrown from a vehicle and landed on the pavement. You were a trauma patient in my unit and I had to block the fact that you were my daughter and do what I am trained to do. I had my student doing things as I started an IV on you and called the hospital to let them know that we were coming. After that call, I walked out into the ambulance bay and sat there and cried. You can ask any EMT/Medic that the worst thing they would have to do is work on a child and worse would be to care for your child. I will never forget that.

2. What were the first few days of fatherhood like? 

One word, stressful. When y'all moved in it was difficult. You guys were used to doing things one way and I was used to the other. I know that you disliked me right from the start and after some time I knew that I had to change how I did things or we would not remain a family. I admit that I was not willing to change at first but I did. 

3. What have you learned about love, and what has it taught you? 

Love is not easy, love is not conditional. The person that you are with should not expect anything from you to be with you. I have met most of the guys you have been with, liked a few, and didn't like a few. I truly wish that you could find the right person for you, someone who makes you happy and someone who treats you the way a woman should be treated. 

4. What was a moment you felt most proud of me?

You are a fixer and a caregiver. You take things in and fix them up. You can take a nearly dead plant and bring it back to life. We have had countless plants that you have fixed and grown into big healthy creations. We have also seen you take in a sick and half-dead dog, you got it food and found a place to take it in. I have kept track of that pupper and it is doing well, that was all because you cared about it. 

5. What do you want or wish most for your kids? 

You of all people, I wish happiness. You have had a rough life for the longest time, you definitely deserve to be happy. 

6. What is the nicest thing I have done for you?

Over the years you have given me some really cool gifts for Christmas. You bought me things that you knew that I would like. You bought me a set of hot sauces because you know I like my spicy stuff. You also bought me a set of beer glasses that are designed for different types of beers as you know that I like my beer. I know that I haven't use all of the glasses or hot sauces yet, but I did appreciate them and the thought that you put behind those gifts. 

7. What is one thing that you want me to always remember after you are gone? 

I want you to know that I do love you and I do wish that we could have had a better relationship. I look back and see things that I could have done better or handled better. It saddens me that we don't talk, that we don't interact at all. 

Amanda, I do hope that you find that special someone in your life. I look forward to the day when you are in your own place with a yard for Vader and space for all your plants. I can't wait to see you happy all the time. I love you.

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