Being a husband, take 2(part 1)

 My first marriage ended after 9 years, I will be the first to say that I got married too young and for the wrong reasons. I have told countless young people not to make any life-changing decisions such as getting married, having kids, buying a house with someone, etc. until you're at least 25. I would go on to explain that by that time you have your career plans set(usually), you're mature enough to know the type of person you would like to spend your life with and you've gotten all your young, and dumb tendencies out of the way. On many occasions, people would ask me when I got married and I told them when I was 19 they would throw that in my face. They would say "You did it", why can't I. To which I would always say, "Yeah look at me, I am the divorced dad of three kids that I barely get to see and in a financial hole that I will probably never get out of. "I did it alright."

I would like to go through some of the mistakes that I learned from my first marriage, and that I continue to learn to this day. My life is not perfect by any stretch, I am a weak husband if you ask me, and I am continuing to learn to this day. If you ask my wife she would say that I am better now than I was(at least I hope she would), but I definitely have a ways to go. 

First I would like to talk about communication. According to an article in Psychology Today approximately 70% of marriages fail due to lack of communication. That is a crazy statistic to me, but then again I can relate to that. How often do we hear "Nothing" when we ask "What's wrong?" People don't want to talk about what is bothering them. Early on in my marriage with Angie, we talked about this, and we both agreed that we need to talk about what is bothering us, if we don't then it is going to eat at us and cause issues. Do we always do this? Nope. Do I(it's usually me asking)ask Angie more than once what's wrong? Yes. That is because I want to help, and I want to fix whatever the issue is. 

There are two parts of communication, however, talking and listening. As guys like I said above, we want to know what is wrong so we can fix it. We want to make things better, but sometimes we just need to listen. We need to hear what our wife is saying, feel what she is feeling and sometimes that is all she needs. Listening can also lead to other pleasantries, Angie is an amazing listener as she hears and stores what she hears in her memory bank. She uses things that she hears for gifts when you say " I wish I could have this or that". Angie also brings back what you said as a memory that just makes you feel good and loved. It is a gift she has for sure(Just ask Joey after Christmas). 

The next lesson that I have learned and continue to learn more and more each day is to do more stuff around the house. Angie and I both work full-time jobs and I know that she is tired when she gets home. Here recently I have been able to work a lot less, and that has given me a bunch of free time. So I have been doing more household chores to make life easier not only for Angie but for me. I say this not to brag or to make it look like Angie doesn't do much, but it is to show what you can do to help out. It also doesn't matter if your wife works out of the home or if she is a stay-at-home mom. When Angie cooks, I clean the kitchen and put up all the leftovers. also, when I cook I clean up all my own stuff and clean up the stove. I have been vacuuming the house and mopping the floors. I do the household laundry when I do my own to ease Angie's burden. I am still a bum at times, but at least I am helping way more than I was before. 

In part 2 I will probably be losing some guy support but gaining some lady support.